An Ode to the Old Who Bravely Embark On Parenthood

#Say goodbye to television. You're too busy running around to have the attention span. But you realize how much TV you watched before, and how you actually don’t miss it.

#Speaking of running around—forget relaxing after work. Six pm is when the real work begins! You now have two full-time jobs, which would have been easy in your 20s but is another can of worms in your 40s. Two hundred years ago, people generally only lived until their 40s. Think about that. But weirdly, being forced to be active all day takes your mind off authoritarian governments.

#Getting up from the floor. Who knew it was so difficult? What are all those cracking sounds? Is that groan coming from you?

#Tramp stamps. Explaining your early 2000s tattoo to your two-year-old.

#The nap game. This is the very best game.

#Are you the grandmother? This actually happened to me. We brought my 25 year old stepdaughter to a doctor’s appointment for my daughter, and the nurse assumed she was the mom and I was the grandma. To be fair - I AM old enough to be a grandma. But wow did that bruise!

#Imagining high school graduation for fun. Realizing you will be well past retirement age. But knowing you’ll never retire, because college.

#A second childhood. Experiencing the world through new eyes. Remember coloring books? They’re actually quite relaxing.

#Being old enough. Old enough to be present in every moment with your child. Old enough to see the miracles in the mundane. Old enough to appreciate how lucky you are.